pull your skirt down

2010-08-27T13:19:00.002+01:00

yes, i know, i'm useless at blogging. i think i should take a break from it all. i'm going to uni in a few weeks and i need to sort so much out; packing, getting my next tattoo, saying goodbyes, shopping for hangers and frebreze and shit, throwing out old clothes...i don't really have time for this. the main reason i haven't posted lately is because of my headache, which sounds pathetic but i've had it all day every day since the beginning of july. i went to the doctor and he said it was tension headaches and it would 'probably just go away' but it makes it difficult for me to concentrate on anything or motivate myself. anyway, i'm going to shop for will's birthday present now while the pain is still bearable. i will still blog eventually, but until then follow me on tumblr?
http://spikybutspecial.tumblr.com/
it's easier to update and i don't have to think to do it, so that's where i'll be!

corfu part one

2010-08-20T23:58:00.001+01:00

2010-08-20T15:34:00.001+01:00

I'M GOING TO GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART IN THREE WEEKS

2010-08-16T11:50:00.003+01:00

HIYA I'M HOME. greece was good, i got back on friday but i've been too busy catching up and cleaning my house to post. i'm going to get my disposables from corfu developed later so eventually i'll post them. i barely took any on my olympus because i was too scared of it getting sea water in it. later x

2010-08-06T10:06:00.001+01:00

i'm going to greece for a week, LATER

KISSY KISSY

2010-08-02T12:14:00.002+01:00

I'M GOING INSANE. i've had a headache for over a week, all day every day, and it's driving me insane. i can't move my head very much and every time i try to walk i wanna cry. when i'm brushing my teeth and i spit, the pain is unbearable. chewing hurts too. painkillers do absolutely nothing. and i'm all alone at home. i finished making the photo albums i'm going to take to uni (if i get in) and it was kind of sad remembering all the good times. i'm going to go eat raspberries and find some sort of murder mystery or medical drama to watch. i don't have any pictures for you today so here's my haggard morning face.

cheeeesy

2010-08-01T12:27:00.002+01:00

hey look it's me and will at my leavers ball! i paid £10 for this ONE photo, how ridiculous? anyway i only got round to scanning it yesterday so here we are, drunk and happy. i miss him lots. i wrote him a letter, i'm going to go post it now.

2010-07-31T23:10:00.001+01:00

2010-07-31T16:53:00.001+01:00

i'm sorry i grew up. i never intended to and it is my biggest regret.

2010-07-30T16:34:00.003+01:00

the boys i mean are not refined
they go with girls who buck and bite
they do not give a fuck for luck
they hump them thirteen times a night

one hangs a hat upon her tit
one carves a cross on her behind
they do not give a shit for wit
the boys i mean are not refined

they come with girls who bite and buck
who cannot read and cannot write
who laugh like they would fall apart
and masturbate with dynamite

the boys i mean are not refined
they cannot chat of that and this
they do not give a fart for art
they kill like you would take a piss

they speak whatever's on their mind
they do whatever's in their pants
the boys i mean are not refined
they shake the mountains when they dance

e.e. cummings

list of things to do this summer that we forgot about:
- finish marykate and ashley marathon
- water fight
- nandos
- naked sleeping in ed's parents bed
- watch gemma arterton films
- watch tristan and isolde
- day tripping
- watch girl next door
- watch teeth again
- pond swimming
- skinny dipping
- not wearing underwear
- making pimms jelly.

2010-07-30T14:07:00.003+01:00

i'm trying to will myself to get dressed but it's not working. i'm so sick of nightmares. last night there were alligators and eyes rolling everywhere. i haven't had a night without nightmares in over a month.

2010-07-27T11:30:00.002+01:00

things i'm going to do today if i can bring myself to:
- feed the cat
- make some toast
- shower and get dressed
- clean my room
- go out somewhere tonight
- read my books

2010-07-26T00:07:00.003+01:00

it's so depressing that i can't sleep because will's not here. i'm way too used to him being there to wake me up when i'm having a nightmare. i bought a fur coat today for glasgow winters (if i get in, that is) and i got some very odd looks, maybe because it's july. i'm actually being very sneaky buying one before the prices rise massively in winter, so fuck y'all. i'll post pictures soon. until then heres more seventies biarritz photos.

i'd lie to me too

2010-07-23T12:26:00.001+01:00

given up on make up and washing my hair for a little while. i'm wearing the dress someone kindly pointed out makes me look like a linebacker..oh anonymous commenters and their wisdom.

my dream girl don't exist, at the age of five she slit her wrists

2010-07-22T23:27:00.004+01:00

sometimes it's not enough to hide under your duvet and wait for it to stop. sometimes that doesn't fix it and you need to find something that does before the drowning feeling comes back. that's why, if you were wondering.

2010-07-22T12:17:00.003+01:00

last night i went to see through a glass darkly with ruth wilson as the schizophrenic main character at the almeida theatre before going to flo's party at the florence (get it? she's called florence, the pub's called florence tooo?!...)
i really enjoyed the play and being up close to ruth wilson after seeing her in luther. and i just realised the brother character is played by the dude in the shit shit 'horror' film tormented. the party was also excellent, the barman took a liking to me and everyone looked pretty. i hope there are photos but for now have some photos of the play i got off the almeida website and an outfit photo.

i've worn this outfit for three days straight and i think i should stop. poison ivy prostitute.

i feel like i should go out but i don't want to. my head hurts (tension headache? can't tell) and getting dressed and showering is just too hard. i might just sit and plan my next tattoo. sorry for the horribly formatted post and the dizzy words.

somewhere

2010-07-21T10:16:00.000+01:00

i'm SO excited for this

biarritz part 3: bastille day

2010-07-20T10:30:00.000+01:00

on wednesday we went down to watch the celebratory fireworks and get our ankles bitten by lots of tiny insects. they were the biggest fireworks i've ever seen and i'm SO glad i remembered my camera.

maybe you would have been something i'd be good at

2010-07-19T13:40:00.002+01:00

my current books

biarritz part 2

2010-07-19T11:38:00.003+01:00

sitting at the beach after dinner with a bottle of disgusting wine.

2010-07-18T11:32:00.004+01:00

hey y'all i'm back. biarritz was excellent but i'm so happy to be home in my own bed with space to myself. more photos will be posted in due course, once i've resized and uploaded them.

my summer reading list:
- girlfriend in a coma, douglas coupland
- the postman always rings twice, james m cain
- everything by camus
- wetlands by charlotte roche
- everything by chuck palahniuk

there's more but i forgot. i'll keep adding.

2010-07-07T12:52:00.003+01:00

i'm off to biarritz tomorrow and i'll have lots of nice photos to post when i get back. in the meantime, have some recent iphone photos.

see you in a week!

endings

2010-07-03T12:01:00.002+01:00

yesterday was valedictory. it should feel strange, leaving the school i've been at for 11 years, but i don't feel i was ever really there in the first place. i don't have a sense of loss. the school has been a mixed experience. mostly vaguely traumatic, but in the past few years i feel like i've become a different person who is capable of social interaction, learning, all those skills the school has always tried to give me. there have been some teachers who have made me feel like i was supposed to be there (two, maybe) but on the whole academically i've felt like i was drowning for years. and some of the people are just disgustingly selfish and cruel. maybe it's a problem with me, not the school or the students, but i feel like nlcs makes people who were once confident in their intelligence feel like they are inferior. the general atmosphere is tense and hysterical.

i was never really a part of the school. i spent 11 years avoiding doing anything of worth just so that i never had to walk across the stage to shake someone's hand with the whole school looking at me. i'm not even joking. i was so terrified that i would accidentally achieve something so i made sure i never did. i'm fine with that. it's over now. i'm proud i succeeded. and while everyone was looking at me yesterday for one second as 'sophie nicoll has a conditional offer to study painting and printmaking at glasgow school of art' was read out, and it was terrifying, it's over and i will make sure nothing similar happens again.
i forgot what i was going to say. i want to curl up and never uncurl.

you've got dead aim

2010-06-28T00:05:00.003+01:00

SO i haven't been around much and i'm sorry ):
i went to see tegan and sara the other night, which was even better than the last time.

ps don't bother watching after tegan stops talking SHE'S SO CUTE.

anyway i forgot to get an outfit picture before i left but let's just say i felt very out of place and uncool in my pale pink dress and mary janes, considering i was probably the most feminine girl there.
that's about the only exciting thing (apart from getting paid £80 to take some photos) that's happened to me lately so here's an outfit starring my purplish pasty legs.

miss selfridge top, topshop shorts, new look gladiators and asos demi-bra (which i got off ebay for £2, no joke)

NIGHT NIGHT!

2010-06-21T11:13:00.000+01:00

pre make-up :(

post make-up! :)

ahhh natural light, how i've missed you and your ability to make me look human.

2010-06-20T15:12:00.003+01:00

it's summer! i'm free! very few people have finished exams apart from me so it's less exciting.
things i need to do this summer:
1. sort out everything for uni (assuming i get my grades)
2. finish my photo album.
3. dress nicely every day - which means avoiding trackies and black/grey combos
4. get a job so i can get horribly drunk all summer.

anyway, here are two dresses i bought recently. the first i wore to my last exam (it's too big for me so the invigilator had a nice view of my entire bra) and the second on our 6 months anniversary. the photos aren't great, the lighting in my room is bizarre and i've forgotten to put make up on for the past few days.

mary poppins

2010-06-17T20:16:00.003+01:00

two things: after 1030 tomorrow, i am going to be FREE. no more exams and no more school, ever. secondly, i'm so happy with my new bag. i think it's completely perfect and i'm going to use it ALL summer.

look at the little people!

girl anachronism

2010-06-14T22:46:00.003+01:00

i'm obsessed with photographs of biker girls and tattooed women from the past.

lots of clothes i ordered from boohoo.com came today (which i shall post in due course). i love finding things on that site because it's cheap and amid the truly horrible dresses/sparkly things, there are some decent dresses and playsuits. HAPPY!

i am too weak to be your cure

2010-06-13T22:21:00.002+01:00

"I tasted the ambrosia of maddened impulse. I wanted my interior pain out in my body somehow. I wanted this vague pain to be specific. That’s how I explain it."

more obnoxious behaviour

2010-06-12T11:39:00.001+01:00

i apologise in advance

every time i look at this photo i burst out laughing

teef

2010-06-09T19:16:00.003+01:00

i LOVE topman jewellery so much more than topshop jewellery. there's a lot of shit (for example i just saw a necklace saying 'too cool') but i buy all my earrings from there and there are some necklaces i feel like i need:

there are also molar earrings I MUST BUY EVERYTHING.

you won't but you might

2010-06-09T18:29:00.002+01:00

will's pretty green eye

my £6 top from boohoo.com - so happy with it for summer.

don't be so amazing or i'll miss you too much

2010-06-08T17:29:00.002+01:00

(i bit my tongue)

fuck uni i just want to be with him. look at his bambi eyes, who could let that go?!

2010-06-07T22:39:00.001+01:00

'you look pretty when you're lapsing in and out of consciousness'

awwww

2010-06-07T21:52:00.000+01:00

The American feminist Gloria Steinem has always insisted that the pill's effect on the wider sexual revolution was overstated, and perhaps she has a point (social mores changed for a variety of complex reasons, of which the pill was only one). Germaine Greer believes its advent meant that "a morally neutral reason" for refusing penetrative sex had ceased to exist: "Women no longer had an acceptable reason for refusing the kind of sex that was most likely to be brutish and short. Once they had made the investment in sexual activity by taking a daily medication in order to be available, there was no sense in being unavailable. Having accepted the idea of themselves as sexually active, they had to be sexually active or be failures." In other words, she believes that it benefited men far more than it did women. - Observer Magazine

2010-06-07T13:00:00.000+01:00

“I didn’t want my picture taken because I was going to cry. I didn’t know why I was going to cry, but I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of my throat and I’d cry for a week. I could feel the tears brimming and sloshing in me like water in a glass that is unsteady and too full.”

2010-06-06T23:35:00.000+01:00

via postsecret

2010-06-06T18:17:00.002+01:00

i joined formspring as a revision avoidance tactic, so ask me questions!

here

communion by jeanann verlee

2010-06-06T12:03:00.002+01:00

I know a boy who called his girlfriend’s body a “crime scene.” Dad, my body is a crime scene. My body is lint and gasoline and matchstick. My body is a brush fire. It’s ticking, Dad, a slow alarm. I have rain boots. Lots of them. It isn’t raining anymore. The words are coming back, Dad. The way they fit and jump in the mouth. I want ice cream and long letters. I want to read long love letters but I don’t think he loves me. I think I’m used up. I think I’m the grit under his nails, the girl who looks good in pictures. I don’t think he loves me. I think they broke me, Dad. I think I drink too much and it’s because they broke me. I heard about two girls recently, two women crushed like cherries in a boy’s jaw. It opened me, Dad. My body is melted wax, it is ripe and stink and bent. It is a mistake. I walk like an apology. I don’t hate men, Dad, I don’t. I want a washing machine. I want someone else to do the dishes, someone to walk the dog. I have a hornet in my head, Dad. A hornet. She’s an angry bitch – she hurls herself against my skull. She stings. And stings. I know I don’t make sense, Dad. This is the problem. I’m a sick girl, a crazy wishbone. I have razors under my tongue. I’m sorry I cut you, Dad, I’m so—so sorry. I gave you a card for Father’s Day once, it said you were my hero. You are. Your laugh is a thunderclap, you love like surgery. I think they broke me, Dad. I can’t erase their faces. I want to swim, Dad. Remember when I used to hopscotch? I used to make you laugh. My feet are hot. The bottoms of my feet are scorched sand, August asphalt. My body is a slug, a mob of sticky wet rot. No one touches me anymore because I’m rot. Because my body is a spill no one wants to clean up. They cracked me open, Dad, I know you don’t want to hear about it. You don’t want to hear how they scissored me, how they gnawed me like raw meat. No one wants to hear how they made me drink lemon juice, how they kicked the dog, how they upturned the furniture, no one wants to hear how my skin turned to a dark thick of purple and black and lead. I watch the homeless a lot, Dad. I watched a man with a cup of coins and chips of skin carved out of his face. He had freckles. He needs medicine, Dad. He needs to stop the hornet. My body is a hive. I am red ants and jellyfish. A yellow sickness. My body is a used condom in an alley in Jersey City. I don’t think he loves me, Dad. My body is a fetus in biohazard tank. A Polaroid pinned to a corkboard in Brooklyn. I think I’m hurt, Dad. I think I was the tough girl for too long. My body is a wafer, a thin, soft melt on a choir boy’s tongue.

i'm obsessed with that.

what i wore

2010-06-03T12:17:00.002+01:00

..to my first ever funeral.

it was sad but pretty, and we stole cupcakes from the tea afterwards. i'm pleased with how my hair turned out, though i keep turning towels a worrying shade of pink.

thoughts?

2010-06-01T13:22:00.002+01:00

i need a hair change - any ideas? bianca is coming to dye it (it's turned to ginger again) later but i kind of want an actual change for once. it's kind of difficult because my hair's SO thin

paulatim

2010-05-30T18:06:00.004+01:00

me and will before the UCS ball last night. there was so much free wine and champagne it was ridiculous. i didn't eat any of the dinner because i was too busy running around and i hate duck. i was reunited with my first boyfriend (who apparently is a huge drug fiend now - though i probably shouldn't have said that to him in retrospect) and the UCS boys seemed to have a good time so i think it was a success. my head is all tangled now, i shouldn't drink, it makes me worse. the photos from my canon are all a little dark and not great quality - i'm wondering if it's the film i used? i found it in my house so it's probably very old.

PS my dress is from french connection, my shoes and earrings are from miss selfridge

2010-05-30T16:00:00.000+01:00

katie turner

a humument: a treated victorian novel

2010-05-26T21:00:00.003+01:00

i love these. i want to buy the book but unfortunately i have no money in the world.

2010-05-21T08:19:00.003+01:00

i'm sick. i'm such a baby when i'm sick, i just cry and complain because i can't deal with not being in control of my body. and yesterday was the last day of school, ever. i can't tell how i feel about that yet. i'm glad i'm free but at the same time i don't really want to go to the real world. everyone at art school is going to be really cool and scary. i'll have to work a washing machine. and fold clothes.

2010-05-17T12:48:00.000+01:00

hayden kays is pretty cool.

2010-05-16T14:05:00.005+01:00

usually, when i go to parties i'm scared and feel awkward and get ready to leave as soon as i get there because the amount of people is too much or i don't know what to say but last night i actually had fun and ran around semi nude and didn't care. it was a nice change. i probably acted ridiculous. today, i have a big bruise and cut on my foot from tripping up stairs, bruised ribs from i don't know what, but no hangover. it's like my body is rewarding me.

we had to dress up as a country in the world cup. vipond and i were dutch prostitutes.

patrick was ghana...kind of. he just wore a really ugly shirt.

i should be able to find some photos from the actual party at some point soon, hopefully. everyone definitely saw my nipples.

apologies

2010-05-15T10:57:00.005+01:00

i have been a terrible, terrible blogger this week. my art exam is on monday and i'm just horribly unprepared. here are some more photos from my last roll of film while i sort myself out.

ain't got no future or family tree

2010-05-11T11:00:00.002+01:00

i got my most recent film developed today and found lots of hilarious (for me, anyway) photos from last weekend when i had a four day weekend (mmmm) and lived at will's.

we stayed inside for about 2 days without getting dressed, singing and eating stale bread.

daisy came to visit and i made her love me

eventually we ran out of cigarettes and wine so we had to put on actual clothes and go on a mad adventure out of the house.

happily we found some money he was supposed to use for a driving lesson.

we were pretty greasy it was kind of gross

then i made pasta, we watched eurotrip and then passed out at 11. the end! it doesn't sound very exciting but it was. anyway that feels like ages ago now. this week is the last week of school ever. i've been there since i was 7 and now it's just ending!

AND ALSO! today is a year exactly since i started this blog. happy anniversary woooo. i like to think i've achieved something because i have like 20 followers on here + bloglovin put together which is pretty impressive for someone who isn't great at writing.

this'll make you happy:

cosy

2010-05-10T21:48:00.003+01:00

i just saw these photos for odd molly shot by helena christensen and I'M IN LOVE. say what you want about daisy lowe, she's got an amaaazing body.

my favourites from from behind the scenes:

saturday night

2010-05-10T10:53:00.003+01:00

some photos of my outfit from saturday night and my tattoo which is healing nicely. i left my SLR at school again so i tried to disguise the shit quality of the photos with black and white...how'd i do? leotard from miss selfridge and shorts from topshop.

amanda wachob tattoos

2010-05-09T11:01:00.000+01:00

amanda wachob specialises in abstract tattoo designs and i found a couple on her site that i thought were pretty cool. not something i'd do, but pretty.

when i was looking at wachob's website i also looked at the art she's done on canvas and i think i'm in love.

of angels and angles

2010-05-08T15:18:00.001+01:00

love means never having to say you're sorry

2010-05-08T08:11:00.004+01:00

after staying up all night to watch the election results come in (i've lost faith in society, by the way), i was so exhausted and hungover last week. i didn't stop drinking til about 9am because i wanted to get my moneys worth of my wine so at around 2.30 my hangover kicked in, and it was meeean. i made will watch love story with me and i cried for ages as i always do when i watch it. if you haven't seen love story and you want to cry, watch it now.

today i'm going to do some painting and then maybe go out. happy weekend!

well i heard you had the blues again

2010-05-04T22:30:00.004+01:00

school is draining the life out of me, i can't think about anything except how much i hate it and want to leave. there's less than three weeks before i finish school forever but it feels far too long. i want to run around and go get my tie dye from will's and take photos in the blossom - but no. exams instead.

pictures from johnnys bird i would probably die to look like that. PROBABLY. or this:

moonmilk

2010-05-03T16:59:00.003+01:00

months and months ago (must have been over 6) phil and i went to ryan mcginley's moonmilk exhibition at the alison jacques gallery off carnaby street and i COMPLETELY forgot to post about it. i loved the photos so much, so here are some of my favourites.

'I've never worked so hard on anything in my life,' said photographer Ryan McGinley at the opening of his first UK solo show in London last week. Inspired by the novels of Jules Verne and Mark Twain, he followed a group of kids through the uncharted underground caves of north America, taking pictures of them nude and tiny against the spectacular geological backdrops. - the guardian

i quite want to frolic naked in caves.

runnin' away

2010-04-30T12:42:00.006+01:00

this is what i'm going to wear today to run around north london:

you can kind of see that the top is actually dotty in this one (also my really gross pre-haircut hair)

my new piercing (the little ear one). i haven't really been cleaning it very well because it's awkward, but i definitely need to.

top: forev 21, skirt: asos, boots: office, necklace: an alligator's mouth

i lent my slr to don so i only have really terrible photos BUT i'm going to use my canon 1000f this weekend to get some pretty film pictures. if i can afford to get them developed, that is.

oh PS clean cut hair:

yes or no

2010-04-30T09:51:00.002+01:00

i've been lounging around looking at party manifestos this morning, and these are some of the lib dem policies i really like:
- improving access to counselling for people with mental health issues
- scrapping university tuition fees
- scrapping income tax for the first £10,000 you earn
- local rail improvements
- scrapping third runway plans at heathrow
- 3000 more police officers
- moving mentally ill prisoners out of prison and into a treatment facility

i felt like last night clegg was hands down the winner in the leaders debate. brown seemed desperate, attacking, ill and worn out and i really disagreed with cameron's ideas about the economy. i'm so happy i'm beginning to understand some of this politics business and i'm excited to VOTE.

2010-04-29T23:01:00.003+01:00

i promise i will properly update tomorrow, but i had 4 exams today so i'm pretty dead. on the bright side, i have a four day weekend which i'm spending at will's, i'm getting my hair cut tomorrow and on saturday i'm getting my tattoo! now excuse me while i pass out

i'm glad i hitched my apple wagon to your star

2010-04-27T23:17:00.002+01:00

my mum bought me the shoes! she found the last pair in london in my size. i love her. i'm downloading new she & him and old boy least likely to, and then i'm going to sleep.

t-post: the wearable magazine.

2010-04-26T19:20:00.003+01:00

so i read about this a while ago and it seems so exciting. if only i had endless money...hmmm.

visit the t-post website to read more about it. here are some past issues i liked:

I WANT YOU!

help help!

2010-04-25T12:41:00.002+01:00

so i'm on a shoe hunt. i saw a girl on the bus with the best shoes in the world, and i can't find anything remotely similar ANYWHERE. i know it's a long shot but i thought maybe someone else might know. they look slightly like the shoes below, though they're black suede and for women not men. also they're just BETTER, but i can't find anything that conveys what i mean. i am going insane not having these.

i have never gone more crazy over a shoe, i don't know what's wrong with me.

BABIES

2010-04-25T10:18:00.002+01:00

can't explain how excited i am to see this:

i love babies.

in other news i hate tension headaches. i don't really know what to do about them because painkillers don't work and even if they did i get them so often i'd be taking waaay too many. HATE

unposted photos

2010-04-22T19:00:00.003+01:00

i found all these photos on facebook that reminded me of all the nice things i've done this year, so i thought i'd post some of them. none of these were taken by me, but some were taken by my bff shapiro (look at her pretty pretty blog) so love you shaps :) oh also sorry if i've posted any of these before.

stationary slut

2010-04-20T20:15:00.003+01:00

everyone knows i'm obsessed with stationary especially moleskines, so when i saw the new 'passions' moleskines i was SO excited. i picked the 'wellness' journal so i can document my exercise, plans and anxiety levels. there are others like music, wine, books and a couple more. i'm quite excited. there are some sections i know i won't use like 'games/sport' but i can just draw all over them and make lists.

the cover has all these pictures of people doing things i NEVER do like cycling, meditating..and loads of other weird exercise-y stuff.

tattoo inspiration

2010-04-19T18:36:00.004+01:00

i want a little tattoo that i can look at all the time when i'm sad. though i sort of want back of neck/shoulderblade, i would prefer to be able to see it because if i'm getting it done for myself it makes sense i should be able to look at it. i do want it to be small though, for my first one. i can't find many photos of little tattoos i particularly love but here's some general tattoo porn. i love flowers and trees, so i guess i could get a small one, but it's not that exciting. maybe i should get a massive dick on my face instead. yeah?

this one actually looks like some of my drawings, intriguing

all from we heart it

i will be with you when you lose your breath

2010-04-18T18:05:00.004+01:00

i'm sleepy and smelly. my weekend was relaxing and lovely, i only got home from will's two hours ago. my family thought i'd disappeared forever. we have fun. constantly. i guess it's probably boring reading about him constantly but i just find us hilarious so i can't help it.

are we doing it wrong?

WANNA GO BACK TO SLEEP!

yesterday i went on a picnic with the boys (and bianca briefly), then for dinner/shisha at miles', then to the pub. say what you want about quinns, it's comfy and i get free drinks from vince if i tell him about my life. i'm going to listen to the jungle book soundtrack and wait for someone to feed me. i actually slept really well i don't know why i'm so tired. will and i used to not be able to sleep very well when we were together but we've gotten amazing at it. well, i have. he still needs some practice. also because he's so obscenely tall, his bed is MASSIVE so there's loads of space for both of us and the kitten.

!

2010-04-17T14:33:00.002+01:00

so i changed my header and layout! what do you reckon? i think it's something of an improvement :) also, now i don't have to make my pictures so small YAY

'speech!'

2010-04-17T12:31:00.003+01:00

ed's birthday was dinner at marine ices (yum) with 30 of the people i love most. the photos aren't great because most of them are slightly out of focus but oh well!

oh and i need tattoo inspiration asap! i'm trying to plan mine. i had a dream i got 'loser' tattooed on my wrist..uh oh.

no limit

2010-04-17T00:22:00.006+01:00

what a waste of a perfectly good 'notice me' outfit. i promise real posts will resume once jetlag has stopped ruining my life. we had a mojito making evening (it's more difficult than we once thought. or we're just not very good at measurements) so my hands smell like lime and my kitchen is very sticky. it was lovely though. then we went to the gatehouse in highgate, which kind of sucked because i was in too bad a mood to appreciate it. cheap drinks though: £1.40 disaronno and coke. goodnight x

(i swear i don't look like this. but i'm too tired to take any other photos. ALSO! photos from ed's birthday will be coming soon)

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY EDWARD

2010-04-15T19:16:00.002+01:00

lusm tortoise

2010-04-14T23:32:00.002+01:00

you asked and i have given. discord is made perfect in the horror of war

tea time

2010-04-13T23:33:00.002+01:00

I AM ALREADY DEAD

2010-04-13T00:27:00.001+01:00

oh tess why!

say goodnight and go

2010-04-12T10:15:00.003+01:00

i woke up early (ok, so 10am..but i'm jetlagged) to work but it's so daunting ):
SO i thought i'd waste my time posting a couple more florida pictures. i know i look like i wore the same shirt every day, but i swear i have more than one outfit. kind of.

see ya later alligator

2010-04-11T15:23:00.004+01:00

i look like a crack addict - in the words of everyone i saw today. 3 days with little sleep will do that to ya, apparently. i didn't sleep at all on the flight home and have been out ever since (excluding this afternoon, when i caught up on blogs and ate mac n cheese). seeing will again was lovely but love is exhausting. we play and fight like kittens until we curl up and fall asleep, then go out, come home and do it all again. i'm terrified for exams - i haven't worked, or painting, or written anything in so long. i need to get my grades for glasgow so badly as it's my only option.

anyway enough insomnia ramblings. here are some of my favourite photos i took in florida. lots of nature again!

clearly not built by me

my step grandma. she wore her 'fancy' tracksuit to dinner

pretty lobster. i almost wish i liked seafood just so i could eat it

INTENSE

biggest, prettiest parrot i've ever seen.

hiya!

i wish that stupid shadow wasn't there! this would have been a good photo. i thought i'd post it anyway because of the scary teeth. i have a necklace with one on it.

my easter outfit

ok! so that's that. i have lots more but i don't want to bore you (further), and i just spent an unnecessarily long time resizing all of those so i should probably go to sleep. tomorrow - revision! art! will! NLCS gathering! excitement! goodnight x

forever young

2010-04-09T03:22:00.006+01:00

ok so florida is making me crazy. everyone is so old. and it's so depressing because it just proves to me further that i don't want to get old. EVER. here's a list of reasons life is shit after 60:

1. your body slowly disintegrates. do you want to take half an hour to get between your car and your front door? i don't think so. you depend on everyone else to get around, which is shit, and unfair.

2. you lose your memory. this is the worst one for me. i don't see the point in living if you can't remember what you've spent your whole life figuring out and all you have left is the dull, slow, day to day.

3. your clothes become horribly outdated. you begin dressing only in cotton baggy dresses in pastel colours. people stare. you look stupid. (this is probably exclusive to florida to be fair)

4. you have to spend countless hours (not to mention money) in doctors' offices getting various bones replaced, pills, check ups.

5. your family have to deal with you not remembering key moments in their lives - weddings, births, your name, etc. it's upsetting.

6. your only entertainment is complaining about how 'in my day, TVs had one button - on. those were the good days.' direct quote.

7. there's nothing to do! you're too frail to do anything active, you're too confused by modern technology to keep up, your family are running around having fun without you and you can't go because your doctor won't let you stay out in the sun too long, or your knee might give out. what're you supposed to do all day alone? eat? TV? it sounds shit.

fine, i know i'm probably being a bitch and it doesn't happen like this to everyone. but i've spent two weeks exclusively in the company of the elderly. i know everything there is to know about arthritis, memory loss, casual elderly racism, and trying to drive behind people who can't see for shit. and it's not what i want for myself. come on scientists..fix old age. i'm terrified of living like that and watching the people i love forgetting all our memories. i can't see a single plus side about getting old. you can say what you like about all the experience you'll have gained and watching your grandchildren grow up, but who knows if you'll even remember it by tomorrow? it's all too depressing. i'm glad i'm going home tomorrow so i can stop thinking about this for another 50 years or so. poor old people.

anyway, enough of that. i found some photos of our animal based antics on my mum's blackberry so apologies for the wall of text, THE END!

naples! i'm yellow, apparently. mmm flattering lighting.

in the everglades holding a baby gator. i want it. it was squidgy.

mini golfing. i came third. out of four.

probably because i misunderstood the concept..?

angry n hungry 010

we went on a nature walk with my great aunt and uncle. i can't tell you how slow they move..i was pissed. though we saw a family of mice, an alligator baby and mummy and a turtle.

mote marine aquarium in longboat key - my favourite aquarium because i've been there every year of my life.

LONGEST POST IN THE WORLD. i apologise i should really have split it into two, but it was a stream of consciousness kinda thaaang. so excited to get packed up and outta here. i miss london. niiight.

ugh

2010-04-08T12:23:00.002+01:00

i want to go back to sleep. i woke up an hour ago and i'm exhausted. cameron's still asleep so i'm sitting on the hotel bathroom floor in a nest of towels until it's an acceptable time to be awake. i want to go home so much. i can't cope. we leave tomorrow afternoon but it feels SO far away, and i have so much to do. sitting getting uncomfortably hot in the sun isn't my kind of thing, and i'll be happy going back somewhere it's ok to wear clothes. i've gotten lots of weird looks here for what i wear, probably because i'm not 85 but hey.

my love she’s like some raven at my window with a broken wing

2010-04-08T03:11:00.003+01:00

i'm homesick. here are some of my disposable photos from last week.

easter bunny!

quickly

2010-04-05T01:24:00.004+01:00

before the hilton internet fucks up for the millionth time, just thought i'd say hi from florida and i GOT INTO GLASGOW SCHOOL OF ART. so happy. stupidly i forgot my camera cable at home so iphone photos will have to do for now. i'm back on saturday morning and happy easter everyone. i really miss home and my friends and will, i wanna come back but i'm only halfway through. i'm having fun though, i bought an incredibly tacky tie-dye t shirt that i love and it's nice to see my step grandma when she's not criticising me.

we're road tripping to naples tomorrow so hopefully i'll get some decent pictures. BYE!

suddenly we're all running out of time

2010-03-29T14:13:00.001+01:00

i've worked out that i can get the internet on my laptop if i sit practically on top of the router, so i thought i'd contribute some photos from this week and last week that have been building up. we broke up for easter yesterday YEAAAH - except these 2 school free weeks will be filled with revision. i'm going to florida on on wednesday so i guess i'll try and make some scheduled posts but i shan't be around to play with ):

my nail polish is called 'button moon', how cute?

wrapped in plastic

2010-03-24T18:06:00.003Z

here's a lovely quiz stolen from sym's blog, brought to you by the characters of twin peaks.

Have you ever made out in a bathroom?
yeah, mostly not my finest moments..

Do you think the last person you kissed is nice?
he's not bad i s'pose

Crushing on anyone new?
haha "crush"

Last person you danced with?
patrick, ballroom dancing in the kitchen without music

Would you take any of your exes back?
i'd rather not

When is the last time you cried and why?
saturday morning i think? can't remember why, there's not usually reasons

Last text from?
vipond "i hate our school and this stupid play x"

When was the last time you were so drunk you threw up?
i threw up from hangover on sunday but haven't throw up when drunk for about 3 years

What is the last movie you saw in theaters and with who?
st trinians 2 i think with b and katy but, it's been SO long. maybe a serious man?

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
definitely, i'd love not to fuck everything up this time

What are your plans for this weekend?
friday is founders day, so probably something with school girls on friday night, but i haven't thought as far ahead as saturday.

Kissed someone in a vehicle?
yesss but not for ages

Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
yeahhhh. i'm blushing.

Last guy/girl who tried to hit on you?
not sure if philosophy teacher counts.

What’s irritating you right now?
not having internet on my laptop ): no fun

Is cheating ever okay?
no

Is there anyone you wish was still in your life?
no

Do you get distracted easily?
oh god yes - just answering this question i got distracted by scrubs, the cat, my drink, and my nails. and doing this quiz is to distract me from an essay.

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
texted patrick and moisturised. i'm so FUN

Is this year the best year of your life?
in short, no

Do you have any strange phobias?
not strange, but i can't speak/be stared at in public at all (even 4 people looking at me in a room makes me not be able to breathe)

Do you give out second chances too easily?
depends who it is. eventually, yeah.

Are you jealous of someone?
EVERYONE

Do you have a best friend?
i have several and they are very nice

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
will

Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
on and off, mostly yeah i think?

Is heartbreak really as bad as it sounds?
yes

Have you dated people who weren’t good to you?
yes

Are you involved with anyone?
yes

What item could you not go without during the day?
is salt an item? because salt.

Would you share a drink with a stranger?
i'm inclined to say no, but i know i have and will on a regular basis.

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
my great aunt years ago, i think.

Do you think its right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?
do what you want?

Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to?
yeah lots - drinking, sex, smoking, bunking - ALL THE BAD ONES.

If we were to look in your phone inbox, what would we find?
lots of rage juxtaposed by some really sweet texts

Anyone upset you lately?
yes, but it's usually not their fault it's mine

Do you love someone at the moment?
yes, lots

Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
no

When did you last receive flowers?
on my birthday from my mummy, white roses

Can you make yourself cry?
no

Are you easily confused?
yeah

When is the next time you will kiss someone?
tomorrow i hope

Last thing you drank?
fanta lemon yummm citrus

In YOUR wedding, who will be the best man and the maid of honor?
i'm not really a wedding planning kinda gal i have to say

Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
not that i remember. but i guess that's the point.

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
no, because my nose is disgusting.

What was the last reason you went to the Doctor for?
sorting my head out

What can you not wait for?
art school

2010-03-22T23:21:00.002Z

I can't explain how much I've eaten today. I tried to count it up in my head but I had to stop because it was getting too ridiculous. I should really do some work instead of sitting eating.
Internet is still insane so picture posts might be sparse until we switch to BT. lesson learned: pipex is shit.

I'm so happy, 'cause you're so happy

2010-03-21T23:19:00.005Z

My internet has decided to rebel and not work if you're more than 2 feet from the router, so I'm doing this from my phone. Hence the capital letters...weird. Anyway I can't sleep (probably because of the ridiculous amount of sleep I got this weekend) so I figured I'd blog from bed. Here's a list of things that make me happy to remind myself later:

1. sleep. I love sleeping more than anything in the world. I would happily never wake up again.
2. ...except my never waking up plan would mean I'd miss out on another thing that makes me happy; waking up next to someone else and having sleepy hugs/morning sex.
3. Macaroni and cheese (from a packet, naturally). I made my dad go get some today because I knew it would cure the hangover - and it did!
4. when my cats know I'm upset/ill and comfort me. It's mental, they're so clever and I'm NOT a crazy cat lady (yet)
5. Sunshine. Everything is better when it's sunny and you can smoke without getting pneumonia.
6. Obviously will!
7. prelashing - it's always better than the actual lash because it generally involves people you actually like and cheap booze.
8. David Lynch. Cameron and I watched eraserhead today which was so fucking weird, and twin peaks will always be my favourite series. On that note, they're finally releasing both series on DVD in the uk - when we got ours we had to order it from Norway, so ridiculous.
9. smoking indoors
10. painting and drawing. Though actually I wouldn't say that because it usually makes me more depressed in the short term, but it's good for me so!

I could go on but my eyes now won't stay open and this keyboard is so annoying - night. Sorry for the text only post, it's unusual for me.

VOM VOM VOM

2010-03-21T14:51:00.003Z

i'm writing this to distract myself from the very real possibility of me throwing up everywhere. again. my weekend was pretty eventful and some bits were really good. on friday will and i celebrated our three month at his with daisy the adopted kitty who drools everywhere and put her tail in my nutella. we ended up getting high and watching a film about a cat and a dog that make friends before falling asleep at 10.30. we woke up at noon the next day. we party hard.

yesterday i got home at three and pat came round to teach cameron french (he's still here and they won't STOP), i took some naked photos of lever for art and then helen and jordan came round for a pre-pre-lash. we went to sadie's for the prelash where there were lots of people i didn't know, and we played beer pong before going to quinns. quinns was HORRIFIC, some scottish drunk guys felt up bianca then proceeded to beat up my friends. it was all very dramatic, the police came, and david went to hospital ): poor baby.

after that, katy, phil, pat and i went home and i proceeded to pass out sitting upright, after somehow failing to open a packet of cigarettes. then this morning i threw up and we watched jaws, then we came home and played with cameron. BUSY. i intended to go shopping today for a founders day dress but i am too busy controlling my gag reflex and reading the papers.

OH also american apparel are having a rummage sale in a couple of weeks in brick lane - i'm going to be away but everyone else go and have fun and get cheap AA clothes ): sob. click here for the facebook event, and buy me things.

what i wore to...

2010-03-15T07:24:00.003Z

...have the worst saturday ever (actually i lie - katy and i watched beetlejuice for a bit which was nice):

top: miss selfridge, jeans: topshop, blazer: reiss

pin your wings

2010-03-14T10:04:00.004Z

i haven't done an outfit post in quite a while so i figured i may as well. here's what i wore on friday to school:

shirt: river island, skirt and tights: asos, cardigan: h&m, boots: vintage

things i need to do

2010-03-11T21:42:00.004Z

- buy new watercolours because mine are ruining my life. i might steal some from school actually, they get really nice ones.
- edit classics magazine (UURGHHGHHHHBGFVD)
- do some fucking art before parents evening. and maybe attend some lessons. maybe.
- buy a bikini for easter that doesn't make me look repulsive
- cheer up
- get fucked
- prepare for my glasgow interview on tuesday. i'm almost looking forward to the four hour train journey each way but i just have no idea what the interview is going to be like, and no one will help me.
- finish my bit for the yearbook. so far it goes like this:

"Hi, I’m Sophie and I’m a violent bitch. I enjoy communal ash baths and touching other girls. My hobbies include painting my naked body, looking angry, breaking student-teacher boundaries and staring at babies. That’s pretty much it because I don’t take any subjects or do any work. In ten years I’m probably going to be living behind Tesco because artists don’t make any money. The things I’ll miss most about NLCS are chicken burgers, sports lessons, P-Unit, the Pepsi machine and drawing willies on everything. BFFOTKTCWSBEOATEOE. PS I hate habs."

incredibly, terrifyingly happy

2010-03-08T21:20:00.004Z

i can't remember where any of these are from, so sorry if they're yours! many are from tumblr.

beautiful losers

2010-03-07T16:56:00.002Z

i feel like this blog has a theme lately..anyone else sensing that? it's only because i love him, can't blame me (too much). luckily i've just bought fuckloads of clothes online today (as well as applying for a boots card (??) and my provisional. i'm going stir crazy i think) so i'll have slightly more to say when they arrive, i'm exciiited.

wow...

sexy hangover face

yummmm unwashed

2010-03-07T16:05:00.001Z

bianca, emma, shapiro, katy, sophie v, me, verity. for the yearbook.

i cannot believe it's so close to the end of school forever. i can't waiiiiit

we know who our enemies are

2010-03-06T13:26:00.003Z

say what you wanna say

in your heart there's a spark that just screams

2010-03-04T23:12:00.005Z

i'm not feeling particularly creative, or particularly anything. at least it's the weekend. i think i'm going gay clubbing and drinking cocktails and probably crying, it's that kind of week, Y'KNOW?

can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all

2010-02-28T22:04:00.003Z

i haven't been out in so long, i think i've forgotten how to interact (haha as if i ever knew). i guess i'll make an effort this weekend but i've missed so much. they've probably forgotten me and everything. i can't decide if i mind.

say what you want to say and hang for your hollow ways

2010-02-28T10:14:00.000Z

she's a brick and i'm drowning slowly

2010-02-27T13:12:00.001Z

the world is all bending and breaking from me

2010-02-25T21:30:00.002Z

FLORENCE part two

2010-02-25T17:34:00.001Z

the last batch of the (decent) florence photos, enjoy

FLORENCE part one

2010-02-24T21:30:00.005Z

last week my art class went to florence to "absorb the culture" (get incredibly drunk) and "fill our sketchbooks" (realise we didn't like each other after all). it wasn't bad but illness stopped me from enjoying it to its fullest. still, i managed to get an ok roll of film out of it despite it being the first time i've EVER used my canon eos 1000f (or rebel s as it's apparently called in america). some didn't turn out amazing but ALL the photos turned out in some way which is more than i can say for the turnout when i used my fisheye or disposables. such a nice change to have a decent analog camera.

bit grim to start with..oh well. from this point i tried to only take photos when it was sunny.

shapiro sunbathing in her furs

i have lots more but i need to sleep (i know it's 10pm, but i've had quite the stressful day up til this point and i would quite like to not be conscious)

oh and for your enjoyment and relaxation:

the last 10 things i've searched

2010-02-21T17:43:00.000Z

maybe i'm a bit weird